We all have those times when the voices in our heads try to shut us down. And if we don’t learn how to navigate them, we will be forever a victim to staying at the same “safe” level that we are trying to move away from.

This article is a true story of a client I worked with that was plagued with inner voices that held her hostage. I bet you will see yourself in her struggle as well. (And make sure you read through the whole thing so you can learn some mindset shifting tips.)

Here she was…. A really powerful, bright, talented and delightful client spinning in self-doubt.

Why? Because once again, she had stumbled on one of those ‘land mines’ as I call them. You know what I mean? The unconscious or that little voice in our head that says things like “who the heck do you think you are to believe you can earn big $, help people, and even have a successful business?”

It was hitting her now because we’ve gotten her to the point in coaching where she’s really getting ready to share her brilliance and step up to FULLY OWN HER VALUE.

By the way, we all have these landmines to some degree or another. But it gets particularly bad if you endeavor to go further than you have gone before. When you want to raise your rates, stand out more as an expert and claim what you should really have in life and business is where you are at risk.

Stay in inertia…the ‘little voice’ leaves you alone. Set a ginormous goal….it will persist loudly telling you all the ways that you may fail and fall on your face.

So what did I do with this client who was really thrown to the floor with the harsh little voice in her head and how does it all relate to you?

First, a little bit of history….ya’ll know that in addition to doing the coaching/consulting work, I have a Master’s Degree in Counseling and practiced as a psychotherapist for 25 yrs, so I know a boat load about mindset! And when I really stepped up and began to own that, as well as focus and specialize in it with my business owner clients, amazing things began to happen.

First, what you should know is that you can’t have one side of the coin without the other.

By that I mean that you can’t have just a marketing strategy without having the ‘inner work’ or foundational mindset pieces in place. All my clients understand this. Which means that they feel safe to come to our calls sharing the ‘stuff’ that they know is holding them back.

We go back and forth between doing the inner work, and then getting the tactical strategy and business building pieces in place.

This was a time that the client was stuck with the little niggling voice in her head that would not let her get her brilliance out in the world.

Let’s go back to her story (which she is giving me permission to share by the way)

I’m going to give you three techniques I use that are pretty fail-safe in the ‘little voice’ battle.

Little voice tip #1-

In the case of this client, I first had her look for the exceptions. Let me explain further…

Very often the little voices remind us of where we aren’t measuring up, let us know how we are failing, and it is always when we are looking to move to the next level. So in this woman’s case, I said, “As I recall, you have been married for 25+ years, have a great relationship with your husband and really enjoy your family, right? So how then can you tell me that the little voice saying you can’t do anything right is true?”

This one stumped her and stopped the little voice in its tracks. When she really looked at it, she realized that there were actually loads of things she did well. The point here is that by looking for the exception, she started the process of believing and stopped getting sucked in by the part of her who was scared of failing.

Little voice tip #2 -

Next up I used the technique of challenging your reality and identity.

It went this way…“Ok client, you see yourself as being prone to failure, not successful, and all the crappy things running around in your head right now. But I see you as being creative, super bright, loving, talented, etc. Whose version of you would serve you better?” The mindset shifter in this case is when she was able to tap into noticing that maybe the chatter in her head wasn’t true! (The key to this is to let in people who will take a stand for you and KNOW the truth of who you are.)

Little voice tip #3 -

And finally, the one that took the most amount of courage was when I asked her to reach out and get feedback.

This brave woman then came back to her coaching group and said, “Hey, I have this assignment from Therese to see how other people perceive me, because sometimes I don’t see myself clearly. So how do you think of me?” The beauty here is that I’ve created a very loving coaching community and within a short time many people wrote back and reflected to her the magic they saw. This went a very long way. She came to the next call a much different person. She was confident, happy, and had owned her value. The process worked!

So when you are spinning in some self-doubt, the keys are to find the exceptions or times you have ‘been there done that’ as in overcoming the feeling. Look also for people who can see you as being more magnificent than you can, and finally give yourself permission to reach out and let others mirror back to you the “you” that they see. This is a huge one because you may be missing what the rest of the world knows, and how powerful it is when you can finally own that brilliance!

Do you notice that the way out is by shifting your mindset?

I’d love to have you get my Business Mindset Toolkit so you can learn quick ways to shift your limiting beliefs on your own. There’s a special on it this week, so grab it now!

In the meantime, notice those little voices. You can learn to control them….so they don’t control you!

Imagine this.

You have a basement home and you come in one day to find it flooded under a foot of water. So in a panic you call your brother who tells you, “What you need to do is to get a new couch for your living room, that way you won’t notice the flooding.”

Seems kinda nuts, so you call your best friend who says, “If you get some flowers planted in the yard, no one will notice the funky basement.”

HUH? So you call a trusted advisor who tells you that getting a fresh coat of paint will be the thing that will finally give your house that elevated look that you have been after.

Clearly, this story is insane!

But the parallel here is that often what’s ‘broken’ or holding us back in biz is what’s “underground” lurking out in our unconscious. Yet we tend to want the fast fixes like adding social media or getting a new website, or making some info products. And that’s the $30,000 mistake most people make. I say $30k because I actually had someone who told me she’d spent at least that much growing her biz. She’d gotten coaching, a new website, worked with copywriters and branding experts, and high dollar mentors. But she realized that because she didn’t handle her inner game (aka mindset) she was not able to get the results from investing all that money.

Think about how things are created for a moment.

Everything starts on the inside.

Nature moves from the inside out.

So then doesn’t it make sense that if you want to have financial growth, you’d first need personal growth?

In this article I’ll share the 5 fears that keep your money from flowing in.

By the way, if you have some (or many) of these, be gentle with yourself. It’s not about shame or blame. It’s about awareness. Because you can’t change something you don’t acknowledge. Let me share with you what they are, and how they hold you, your business and your earnings back.

Fear of being seen – Want to know if you have this one? Schedule a photo shoot or get someone in front of you with a video camera asking you to share how wildly brilliant you are. Bam! This will be in your face quickly if it’s one of your barriers. It comes from childhood patterns of learning to play it safe, not make waves, trying to fit in, and often looking for others for your answers. But here’s the deal…when you become an entrepreneur you MUST BE A LEADER! Your ideas will want to push you out in the forefront. Your team will need a leader, and your tribe will only trust you if they can SEE YOU! They need to see your positions, your bold ideas, your goof ups, and your stand on things. Hiding out and playing safe are the things that repel money.

Feeling like you are a fraud – Last year when I decided to host the Breaking Down to Break Free telesummit and ‘out my story’ of the past financial challenges I had in committing EVERYTHING to be on this entrepreneurial path, my first thought was, “What are people going to think? What if I lose credibility?” We so often judge ourselves harshly because even though we may be able to do it for others, we either aren’t there in business yet, or haven’t been able to make all the pieces work in our own business. Most often it’s far worse in our own heads than it is in the minds of our clients. In fact, from sharing my story I’m hearing from many people that they’d be much more likely now to hire me as a coach because of my authenticity and ability to understand where they are or may have been.

Family beliefs that keep you stuck – When I do muscle testing with my clients to check about what blocks they may have, one of the questions I ask is about whose belief/energy they are carrying. Yes, we carry other people’s stuff! Example – a client was struggling bringing money in. As we explored this she said some statements that totally didn’t sound like her. I said, “Whose is this because that stuff is not what YOU believe.” She replied, “Oh my gosh, this is how my mother feels! I have taken on my mother’s idea about how hard it is and how not right it is to have a lot of money.” If you have some things that aren’t serving or don’t seem like it should be something you believe, check inside and see if you have adopted someone else’s ideas. It is quite common actually and wreaks havoc on business success.

Lack of trust that you can manage big amounts of money – This shows up as a pattern when people have either made and lost money, don’t have the self-trust that they can take care of money, or have family patterns of poverty and lack. This is the story of my colleagues who will have an awesome five figure month and then struggle to pay bills the following two months. Or the one who brings in high ticket sales, only to have people ask for refunds within the week. Here you’ll want to look at your patterns. Does money stay? Does it fly out in seemingly crazy or unexplainable ways? If you inherited a big amount, would you trust that you’d be a great steward of it? Because if you can’t say yes, it’s not coming! Money likes to be taken care of, and if you have fear that you’ll blow it, it will be elusive.

The need for permission – If I had 100 bucks for every person who said that needed permission to do the work they loved in the way they wanted to do it, I’d get one sweet vacation!! This one seems to plague women more, but there’s a strange dynamic of having to ask because we don’t trust our own intuitive guidance. When a client tells me that they don’t know I challenge that. We ALWAYS know. Now we might not want to know and stay very disconnected from ourselves so we lack the clarity, but we always have access to the knowing. This permission thing is interesting. Ask yourself if you are waiting for permission. Permission to be successful, make money, leave your old life, succeed more than your parents, etc. If you aren’t giving yourself full permission to have and do and be what you want, there is a loyal little child living inside, staying true to some old, old, old beliefs and patterns.

Can you see with these five barriers how just working on better marketing copy or tweeting more often is not the solution?

As I often say, “The only way around…is through.” Through the blocks and barriers, and then on the other side is the sweet success and personal fulfillment that you are seeking and is also seeking you!

So first, just notice. Ask yourself if you resonate with any of these fears. Find evidence that they may be lurking around in you. Next, do something different! Often one of the places to start is to go in the opposite direction of what the fear is telling you to do. For example if you have the fear of being seen, book a teleseminar or join a Toastmaster’s club! Remember, the goal is to make the unconscious conscious so you can begin to take charge of your life and create that happy and profitable business! And finally, get support for yourself to make these shifts!