Does Your Business Need a Midwife?
Posted in "Fly on the wall" coaching moments, Entrepreneurial mindset, Inspiration and tagged with busines breakthroughs, Business midwife, my marketing doesn't match me, positioning, why can't I make this business work? on 02/11/2010 06:03 pm by Therese SkellyThis came at about 3am….it was pouring rain and I couldn’t sleep because it kept going round and round in my head…….
A bit of the back story first though – I had just signed up a new client. The perfect kind of client that ‘gets’ the work I do. The kind where there is an instant synergy. It tells me that my marketing is working! I had been pretty clear on who I wanted to attract, but I hadn’t been quite as BOLD and powerful about who I was being until my friend/coach Nancy Marmolejo took me through her Profitable Essence program and helped me find it! It was there that I finally claimed that I’m not just about growing your business….that’s of course part of it, but its in transforming YOU that is the most rewarding. You and your business get transformed by the work, and the results are amazing!
And since I have been putting that ‘vibe’ in the world, the coolest of clients are finding me!
So at 3 in the morning my head was swimming around, looking for a metaphor for this blend of me getting more clear about my work, and that magic is bringing the exact right clients in.
Then it hit me – the Midwife versus OB/GYN analogy. I think of it like this…you go to an OB and it’s kind of on their terms. You as a pregnant woman are pretty dis-empowered, and mostly have to submit to how they want things to go. A midwife on the other hand supports YOU in creating the delivery the way you want it. She will assist you in finding the strength inside yourself to do the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Since there may be men and women who don’t resonate with the childbirth analogy, let me take you a bit further into the similarities.
See, most business owners don’t really know what to do to create a profitable business and certainly not how to market themselves. They go to a web developer who tells them what kind of site they need, they listen to some friends who tell them what they should charge and what to offer, so very often what comes out is not a pretty baby!
The cool new client that came to me is a beautiful and spiritual woman who had a dreadful website! Here she is with a very soft and feminine side, yet her website was black! Another one of my recent clients listened to someone who directed her to create a site that had not a single piece of her in it. It was corporate and cold…nothing at all of who she is.
When these clients come to me they haven’t had the success they want, don’t understand why their marketing isn’t working, and they are sometimes even ready to give up. That’s where the “Business Midwife” comes in. Because my belief is that your perfect business- just like a baby – is inside of you, just waiting to be birthed.
Let’s look at how you know when you have birthed your ideal business? It starts with how you feel. Do you have fun? Is it something that you are proud of? Is there an ease to it? Do you feel fully expressed in the business world? That means, are you giving yourself permission to bring ALL of you to the table? For this if you are spiritual, you be spiritual. If you are quirky or analytical, be that. And when you finally give yourself permission to be there….magic happens. I call it the Dog Whistle effect. Just as the dog whistle is imperceptible to the human ear, your perfect marketing message will only be heard by those eager souls who would love the work you do. But if you water it down by not showing up fully, they miss it….and you experience the frustration that so many entrepreneurs struggle with.
I know from personal experience how to birth a baby! I did it naturally two times, and my last son was born in a tub. And I know how transformative that experience was. Instead of having the “let’s just get this kid out” feeling that some women experience, it became the most pivotal experience in my life. I took all the pain, discomfort, and struggle and turned it into the knowledge of my own power and strength as a woman. Growing a business affords you these same opportunities! You will feel stuck, you will want to turn back, you will experience pain and doubt, but if you persevere and allow for the transformation….you will be rewarded the most amazing creation of your life. That’s my hope for you.
February 11th, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Therese,
Having given birth with both OB and midwife, I can totally relate to this analogy in the literal and business sense. After just a few sessions with you, I am so much more tuned in to where I want my business to go that the ideas just keep flowing. Perhaps you should start calling yourself The Midwife Business Coach!
February 11th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
I LOVE your analogy! I think it’s perfect and such a comforting image. The thought that every one has the perfect business or the perfect marketing message just waiting to be birthed appeals to me. And I know your expertise will make it a transformational experience indeed. May you be a midwife to many!
February 11th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Thanks Connie! I actually got so excited about this concept, but when I ran it by some women business owners, it seemed to fall flat.
Probably because they hadn’t used midwives! But if you get it, it sure encourages me.
Thanks so much for your lovely post and kind wishes.
February 11th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Oh Lisa, you make my heart happy that you are so much more fully alive in your business. Guess we birthed yours, right?
Now go out and make it rock!
And I actually had thought of “The Business Midwife” but got some negative feedback from some peers. They thought it was too polarizing.
But I’ll keep playing with the themes.
Thanks again for your comments!
February 20th, 2010 at 9:24 am
I really get what you say about our businesses being reflections of our own presence and growth as a person. Trying to separate these is what has created the cold corporate mentality you wrote about that is full of stress and not enough heart. Even a one person business can get into that box!
February 20th, 2010 at 10:16 am
You are so right Darren. Just look at your business as an example….the more you put yourself in it in terms of your personality and energy, the more people resonate and appreciate what you do.
I know it takes courage to do that, but it’s so much more rewarding than trying to play it safe.
February 20th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Hi Therese,
I like your analogy. It flows many different ways for me. I’m stuck in the process. I’m not sure I’m even pregnant with gifts to bring to the world. Or how to bring more of my true self into my business (I certainly wouldn’t want to put anything gloomy into it which is where I am a lot of the time! I actually in one of my black humor moments thought of having a GOTH Open House. The thought of it at least got me smiling and laughing a little.)
I wish it were (to use another analogy) like a snarled up ball of yarn….that I could find the one loose end, pull it and the whole tangle would come out smoothly!
Yet, I am beginning to see the outlines of what it looks like to be a new business owner and at the same time to continue to expand my skills.
Thanks for your insights. They are slowly flowing into what was the almost empty cistern of this place where I am. (in terms of knowing how to do what I do as a business…otherwise my life is very full!)
I think I’ve had the unconscious belief that I had to grow the business first before advertising it!!! That no one would be interested in my business until it was up, fully functioning and thriving!
Thanks for extending your helping hand!
Carole
February 20th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Oh Carole, we have to find your gifts! Of course you have it inside, but sometimes we are just too close to find it.
It does take awhile to get clear on what makes you unique. I checked your site and it seems like you have added who your market is, so that’s a good start.
Keep watching my stuff and coming to the webinars and you’ll get more and more of the pieces.
And I love that you are pushing past your and discovering your old ‘stories’ about what’s holding you back.
Thanks again for the post.
Blessings,
Therese