Oh, it was ugly. I hadn’t been out doing karaoke in a few months, so when my gal-pal Andrea asked me to go to sing, I decided to try a song I’d never sung before – you know that rather drippy but beautiful Bonnie Raitt ballad, “I Can’t Make You Love Me?”

It’s a fabulous song when it’s done well. But for whatever reason, I wasn’t on my game…at least not for that song. When I got up to sing, I immediately hit the wrong note, and then realized that I was probably way off key for the first few verses. Yikes!

Now, if you’ve ever done karaoke, you know that you are on the stage, folks are watching, and you have the mic in your hand. Sort of one of those sink or swim moments. Time seems to slow down when you think you are sucking! And this is just what it can feel like in business when you step up and step out to try new and different things.

You are probably wondering what the heck my botched Bonnie Raitt song has to do with handling the challenges you encounter as a business owner. Well, if you’ve read any of my stuff, you know that I’m a big lover of metaphors. And since singing has very many parallels to being a successful business owner, I thought I’d write about that today.

Just like karaoke, being a business owner has lots of places where you can shine….or sink. Places you need to take more risks, go well beyond your comfort zone, and ultimately step up and deliver what you offer to your audience. You get to choose. You can try something new and slither back, never risking again, or you can build those ‘mental muscles’ you need to keep pushing yourself to push your envelope.

In business, karaoke, and life, you need to create a mindset for success. Here are my top 3 ways to do that:

1. Take risks and try new things. It’s all about courage…in business and on the stage. Instead of doing the tried and true songs, I went outside of my comfort zone because I always have a desire to stretch myself. And sometimes, that means I sorta suck at first! But it’s a necessary part of the growth curve.

Do you do that in your business? Are you looking for ways to expand your product offerings or create fresh content? Know that if you don’t grow, you become obsolete. It’s that simple. If I gave you the coaching assignment of coming up with three new ways folks could get to work with you, could you do it? Brainstorm that one because it’s a huge growth opportunity. Especially now…quit playing it safe!

But what’s going to get you may be that little gremlin/perfectionist in your head. When I first was going to the karaoke bar years ago, there was one man who technically had a fabulous voice. But he always sang the same song, wore a hat (to hide I’m thinking) and it was clear he was not about rocking the house with a new number!

The parallel here is that so may be one of those wonderfully talented people who has your best ideas still percolating or in some folder somewhere because it’s ‘not quite good enough.’ Your task then is to battle the voices that have you keep your new work from getting out in the world. You can use EFT, you can have a dialogue with that perfectionist part, or you can just make the deal that you will come back and revise, edit, re-work it, but you have to get new things in the market! (By the way, if you are looking for some tools to battle that crazy perfectionist in your head, my Business Mindset Toolkit is the perfect solution for that.

2. Observe how you are doing and ‘being.’ Have you ever had moments when it feels like time stands still and you seem to be watching yourself go through life? That’s what it was like for me during the first minute of the song. I was just praying the song would end, looking around the room for validation, and trust me…not really enjoying it.

In business, do you have a way to be able to track or measure how “on your game” you are? Do you take time regularly to ask yourself how you are doing? Have you created trusted advisors or mastermind partners who are sharing their feedback with you? Are your customers invited to give you input so you can tweak and improve your performance?

Now one mindset problem we bump into here is that if you are like most folks, you may not be objective. You have heard me talk about that “Brilliance living in your Blind Spot” problem, right? Which means that it’s imperative to get outside feedback because we often can’t see our gifts, our strengths, and tend to minimize our successes. That’s why I created my free eBook which helps you get your brilliance out of the blind spot and in the world.

Heck, it’s normal to be a bit self-conscious when you are stretching or doing something new. But if you never get in the game, beat the crap out of yourself for any mistakes, and keep your best stuff hidden because you are ‘tweaking it,’ no one will get to see you grow!

3. Correct by being connected. After a few moments of really being uncomfortable, I remembered that I know how to sing, so I just willed myself to get out of my head, and into my body. In my head was all the negative chatter, which was making me crazy! When I finally said to myself, “shut up and sing,” I was able to relax, and allow the music to come through me, with much better results. The audience applauded, I was happier, and Bonnie would have been proud!

Now let’s look at the application to your business. You have to try new things to stay fresh. You are going to fail or at the very least, mess up a bit. Things will break down, and people sometimes won’t love what you do. That’s just the reality when you are constantly pushing the edge of your comfort zone as you continue to grow and expand what you do and who you are.

The trick is being able to self-soothe.

A successful mindset is one where you can observe yourself but not get caught up in whatever is going on. It’s about recalibrating constantly and staying focused on your goal. You have probably heard that an airplane is off course 97% of the time, but the auto-pilot is constantly correcting. The plane always lands at exactly the correct destination, but wouldn’t if it weren’t for the corrections along the way. I believe that the true measure of success is in how you recover from the mini break-downs.

What can you connect to as a way to stay grounded? For most of my business owner clients it’s the “Big Why” as I call it. If you can stand in the place of being connected to why you are in business and why you serve the people you serve, handling the little bumps in the road is easier. You can also connect to your spirituality as a way to remind you of what’s important in your life. And finally, connect with your clients. Pull out those testimonials; remember those stories of the times you made a huge difference in someone else’s life. This is the fuel that will keep you going. So when you are super self-conscious, remember…it’s not about YOU! Get out of your head and focus on the gifts you were given and the desire to serve. That, plus a bit of gratitude will shift you every time, I guarantee it.

(By the way, if you like the karaoke metaphor you can read a blog post from five years ago when I first started singing that is pretty funny and quite relevant. You can read it here.)

So my friends sing your heart out in whatever way you do. Just make the commitment to keep playing a bigger game because we need your gifts in the world!