Posts Tagged ‘busines breakthroughs’

Who you are NOT being is just as important as who you ARE being in business

Posted in Business Strategy, Charging for your services on 10/25/2011 04:45 am by Therese Skelly

Not sure what’s in the air these days, but I’ve been getting BUSTED by some men in my life! (Not dating wise, but on the business front, LOL!)

It comes from my renewed commitment to really uplevel my game. So between attending the David Neagle event and joining the local Glazer-Kennedy mastermind group, I recently encountered 3 men who showed me some places where I was holding on to some old, limiting beliefs and where my mindset wasn’t serving me.

It has caused shifts in my mindset and awareness, and it comes from a bit of butt kicking by some folks who saw something that was in my blind spot. Of course I have to laugh, because isn’t that what I teach? Yeah. That’s how it goes. You move forward, and then there’s more to see and be.

I’ll tell you my story about discovering something that I was working so hard to NOT BE and the cost of that and how it came out in my Mastermind meeting. Then we are going to look at your life and business to see who you are being, or not being. Why? Because if you aren’t putting yourself out in the world in the biggest way possible, you are losing business, money, and all that goes along with it. You can’t expect to hide out and be on top of your game if you have a business that sells YOU as part of it.

Here I was, all prepared to tell my mastermind peeps what I’d done with some new leads, and what I had planned for the next quarter of 2011. But even before I got 10 minutes into my hot seat moment, they noticed something and called me on it. Ok, gotta say that I was a bit embarrassed because this was such a HUGE blind spot for me, but I don’t pay to be in this group of super-marketers to have ‘em take care of my feelings and play nice! I pay to get the truth and their expertise, so when all of them pointed something out….I listened.

Let me tell you a bit of back story first –

In my time being in this business, I have encountered some amazing coaches and mentors. And there have been some that do business in a way that makes me sick. Who they are on the outside is nothing like who they are in reality. And what happens? Clients get hurt. People are lied to. Money is lost. Now normally I’m very positive and see good and light in all, but in the case where people are being exploited, it makes me nuts! So I think I have turned into the caped crusader of the anti-sleazy marketer. Don’t quite have the cape and all, but it really feels like I’m on a mission to be real, tell the truth, and legitimately do what I can do to support people versus just make empty promises.

But what I didn’t know is just how much energy I have around this. Sure…my ‘good guy’ colleagues and I often talk about how we want to create a new wave of trust and credibility in the internet marketing world. But little did I know that how I saw it and how my Mastermind peers saw me with it was a big difference!

As I was sharing with the Mastermind Group, they stopped me in my tracks and said this:

“Therese, do you know how much time and energy and conversation you put into NOT being a sleazy marketer? Do you see that you are missing opportunities because you are NOT wanting to be ‘like them’ and so you don’t stand up?”

Dang. I had to admit they were right.

Basically they pointed out that by NOT being “like them,” I’m also not owning marketing my own stuff because I’m so careful to NOT be like that and offend anyone.

Wowza. I had no idea that the thing I was running from was very likely influencing the success I can achieve.

You see, you can’t fight against something while trying to bring something else in. I could take the lesson from Mother Teresa who said, “I will never fight against war, but will certainly stand for peace.”

This is what surprised me….I’m a marketer. And a sales person. And I love those two things and embrace them. But trying so hard to convince myself (and ultimately you) that I’m NOT like person x is really not the best use of my energy.

So it got me thinking that while I always encourage you to be more of you and get that brilliance out in your business, there may be some under currents of not wanting to be something that is playing out.

Maybe you have the same story I do of not wanting to be seen in a negative light. Or maybe it’s just not owning something you should be owning for yourself.

Let’s dive a bit deeper and look at this one.

Mindset 101 – your beliefs are running your business (and life) and if you don’t make them conscious, it’s very often like you are sitting in the passenger seat and not driving in the direction you want to go.

Let’s just see how much ‘charge’ you have from some of these statements. Related to your business, you’ll want to fill in the blank:

“I would hate if people thought ___________________________ of me and the services I offer.”

“What I don’t want people to see about me is __________________________.”

“Secretly what I’m afraid about in my business is ______________________.”

“If my potential clients knew ___________________ about me, they might not sign up.”

Ok, kinda hard questions. But in order to make it through this entrepreneurial journey, you must be willing to do the deep dive into what’s really going on inside. Or you will be a victim to the unconscious drivers and motivation.

When you answered those, did you come up with much intensity? Meaning, if it’s a reasonable thing like “I’d hate if people think I am a fraud” and you felt relatively neutral with it, you are probably fine. We all have some degree of nature that wants to look good and have others approve of us. But if you had that same “Oh no…what if they thought I’m a fraud” and you noticed that it is a HUGE emotional reaction, very likely you are over-reacting and so holding back. Ask yourself these questions:

“How am I holding back?

“What am I NOT doing because of the fear?”

“What’s the cost of these thoughts in terms of me being able to market and sell myself?”

I want you to get real with yourself. Make this stuff conscious so you don’t have to have your mastermind partners show it to you! But actually, that’s the work I do with my clients day in and day out. Showing them the places where their mindset is not supporting them.

And I use tools like the WaveMaker, EFT, NLP, and the work of Byron Katie to help people shift this. But the first piece is awareness. You can’t change what you don’t know. So I’m going to challenge you to be on the look-out for anything you are running away from, giving energy to NOT being, and holding back out of fear.

This week watch you words. Notice your energy. See if you are a caped crusader for something and really look at what’s underneath that to see if it’s affecting your business or marketing in a negative manner. And know I’m here for you and want to help you get clear on what you own, and what you dump! Week two of the Blind Spot To Brilliance program is where we really dive into this Inner Game work. There are a few spots left, so check it out if you can see that you may need some mindset ‘massaging’ shall we say.

Peace and Blessings!

Entrepreneurial Courage: Why you need it and how you get it

Posted in Inspiration on 10/11/2011 01:12 pm by Therese Skelly

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”  ~Steve Jobs

And this, my dear readers is why I’m so passionate about working with and empowering entrepreneurs get out of their own way and break free from limitations that hold them back from being the change. Those of us who have heard the call and said yes to its whisper are the ones courageous enough to leave our jobs, step away from the perception of security, risk falling and failing, and ultimately undergo huge personal transformation….all in service of that deep dream that lives inside.

But it takes courage to play at this level. Courage to keep going when those around you chide you for being so ‘crazy’ as to wanting to do it on your own. And more courage yet to stay strong when the cash flow is weak and you might be swimming in fear and doubt, or can’t find the way to take your business to the next level.

That’s why I want you to keep reading the rest of this article. Because without courage – the journey can be very rocky.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”  ~Steve Jobs

Let me clarify what I mean by entrepreneurial courage. I define it as your ability to BOLDY express who you are in your business, make decisions based on your strengths and gifts, and the willingness to go against the grain – to stand out and listen to your own inner voice and vision versus following along with what everyone else is doing.

And that takes guts, let me tell ya! If you are to be a successful business owner you must be a leader! This is where the courage comes in. As an employee, it is very likely that you were given work or told what to do. But when it’s your own business, you are responsible for creating all of it. While you may have a team, ultimately, the success or failure you experience is on your shoulders.

That’s why this entrepreneurial journey is not for the faint of heart!

If you talk with anyone who has been on the path for a while, they’ll likely share with you the steps they took and what they bumped into to finally own their brilliance and build a business around it. You’ve likely heard my story….I had a master’s degree in counseling, practiced for 25 years, yet felt that was a liability as a business coach! I had coaching training and certification and coached and trained with some of the industries finest to integrate the business building, marketing, sales, branding, copywriting that I know today, but because I had been a therapist I still felt like it wasn’t enough. (Kinda wacky, but maybe I’m a slow learner.)

The journey for me to really decide to build my brand and my business on the fact that I am an expert in this mindset and inner game area was a painful one to be sure. Why? Because as I often say….“Your Brilliance Lives In Your Blind Spot.” So in my case all my mentors and business girlfriends could clearly see where my business positioning needed to be, but I,  1) didn’t value it, 2) couldn’t figure out how to market it, and 3) had no idea how to weave it through my business model. And that experience lead me to the path I am on today, and formed the foundation for the Inner Marketing Work that I do.

The craziest part? Just as in life, very often the thing we struggle with the most is where our gifts are and what we are actually here to teach. So guess what I’m teaching now? Yeah! How to get that brilliance out of your blind spot. How to have the courage to let YOU show up in your business, and how to make money doing what you love, and are good at.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”  ~Steve Jobs

But how do you get courage? How do you risk putting yourself out there when it’s new or it’s scary? The #1 thing – get support! Truly. The issue lies in that you can’t see what you can’t see. That’s why it’s my theory that your brilliance lives in your blind spot. Here’s what happens when it’s living there:

  • You can’t believe anyone would pay for it
  • You can’t charge appropriately for it because it “comes so easy” to you
  • You think everyone has it or can do it, so why do they need you?
  • You can’t figure out how to make it a business that makes money

I have worked with loads of business owners who were not loving their businesses because they weren’t marketing and selling the thing they should have been. They were listening to what someone else told them they should do, ‘selling out’ on their dream or chickening out and just taking the easy money.

And there’s nothing wrong with doing things to get some cash in the door! But is it costing you? If you are working with people that are costing you energy, it’s not worth it! Sometime we just have to make choices based on revenue, but if you are to have a satisfying and fulfilling business, it has to weave YOU in it.

But what kind of support do you want? Not just someone who rubber stamps your ideas. No, find someone who will challenge you to show up BIGGER than you are currently comfortable with. Find someone who will call you on your ‘stuff’ when you start backing down, and someone who takes the time with you to discover what you should be marketing and selling based on your unique gifts and talents and values.

The next step to get more courage is to create an empowering environment. Reading Steve Jobs quotes are inspiring and stimulating. Reading the Enquirer not so much! Listen to fellow entrepreneurs who have blazed the trail to show you that it’s possible. You must keep as much positivity in your environment as you can as you make the transition from just having a business to being the kind of business owner who’s making a difference in the world. It’s a big shift, so set yourself up for success by having an environment that pulls you forward. This is where vision boards and inspiring books, goal setting or affirmations come in.

And once you make the commitment to have a business you love, based on your gift and unique talents, it’s a whole lot more rewarding.

“Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”  ~Steve Jobs

I couldn’t have said it better. Thanks Steve and thank YOU my readers for showing up and doing the great work you do in the world.

Peace and blessings!

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