Posts Tagged ‘Entrepreneurial mindset’

Change Your Mind, Grow Your Business

Posted in Entrepreneurial mindset on 11/08/2011 02:13 pm by Therese Skelly

The biggest boulder in the way of your success is you.

Not pretty to hear because it’s far easier to look outside ourselves for the answers. It’s far easier to add more social media or do better blogging to get the traffic and the visibility you need. And those are both necessary. But if you really want to grow, you have to follow this process….

Dig-Excavate-Renovate.

And this work isn’t for the faint of heart! No.

This work of being a successful entrepreneur will take you to your knees and have you discover all the ‘stories’ that are living in your head that hold you back. But on the other side, there is a sweet freedom, a sense of personal power, influence, and more life than you can imagine.

The first place we are digging in this article is the stories you are telling yourself that are keeping you stuck and unsatisfied with the results you are getting. We all have them. You know…those reasons why you can’t do what you want, or justifications for staying the same.

I’ll give you an example of one of the stories that I’d been carrying (and believing) for some time. Mine was about my list size. I had a nagging belief that in order to make substantially more $, I’d have to have a much bigger list of people who are following me. (Not unreasonable to believe, right?)

But I think the ‘story’ turned into an excuse. “Oh, that didn’t sell as much as I wanted to because of my list size” I’d say. Or, “Dang….I may not be able to fill that program because I don’t have those people on my list.” I spent a ton of time and energy here. Until I went to David Neagle’s event a few months ago and got ‘busted’ about this story. And in a second, I saw clearly that I was in some MAJOR self-limiting beliefs. Here’s how it went….

One day at lunch I was sitting next to a fellow attendee and probably launched into my story about needing to grow my list in order to get the results I desired.

The man I was chatting with pointed out that he had only 400 people more on his list and was making a 7 figure income! Basically he was telling me that my ‘story’ around the list was just that….a story. Something made up that held me back, kept me stuck, and truthfully was pretty de-energizing. Here I was only focusing on the lack, and not seeing the opportunity.

That’s what stories do. They limit our options. They blind us to possibility. But mostly, they keep us victims. Victims to things that are very likely not even true.

So let’s find the way out, shall we?

As an example, let’s start with money. If you are not earning the money you desire, there may be some stories underneath that that you may or may not be conscious about. Remember – first we DIG. We dig in and find what the story or faulty belief is that is in conflict with your desired goal.

These are some examples of beliefs/stories that may be at the core of why the $$ isn’t flowing. (Again, you may or may not be aware of this, so when I work with my clients, I teach them how to muscle test to determine if this is holding them back.)

I can’t make more money because:

I haven’t gotten the permission to succeed

I’d be in the spotlight and that would be uncomfortable

People would discover that I’m really an imposter or can’t deliver the value I say I can

Doing what it would take to make money would take me away from my kids

I’d have to sacrifice my family time (or self-care) to make much more money

It would be bad to make more money than my father did

The digging part comes because most of the stories we have are either seemingly believable (like my desire to have a bigger list) or lurk under the surface. It’s almost like having an Operating System that is loaded with bugs and viruses. It slows things down and is really frustrating because sometimes you don’t even know where to look for the solution!

After the digging comes the excavating.

Let’s say you have done the muscle testing and discovered that yep….you are carrying some funky old belief. Imagine this is the big boulder you need to move. Have you ever tried to move a 5 foot boulder? You likely couldn’t do it yourself! This is where having another set of eyes and some leverage helps.

This is where we dig out the dirt and free up the space to put some new and more supportive beliefs in place.

I think a simple way to look at the excavation process is the question “Is this true?” Once you have found the faulty belief, asking if it’s true will bring it from the shadows to the surface. Instead of it being a hidden driver, you now can begin to know what you are dealing with.

Another ‘spin’ I put on it is to find the reason or positive pay-off for it being around now.

Example – If you found the belief that if you earned more $$ it would take you away from your kids; the POSITIVE intent of this belief is to keep you closer to your children and to protect your family life.

And now we renovate.

I do major remodel/renovations with all aspects of business, but for this article we are staying focused on the old beliefs/mindset. So you have dug in and found the faulty belief, maybe where it came from, and how it’s trying to protect you. But we need something else here. This phase is tantamount redecorating. You bought the ‘fixer-upper’ home, gutted the old furniture and 1970’s shag carpet, and now it’s time to design it to your liking.

The question here is, “What would I have to believe to support the vision I have for myself?” I’d also have you look at “Who would I have to be to grow into a person that can create that vision?” This is where you take the time to decide and build in your more supportive beliefs. This looks like deciding to be something and then orchestrating life around. Example, if you discovered that you have the story that if you make more money, your children will suffer, you’ll want to find role models of women who have done a good job blending work and family life. You’ll want to keep working on boundaries and the stronger sense that you can have both.

Your coaching challenge this week is to look at the process of dig – excavate – renovate. Every client I have comes in and we have to do some work in one of these three areas. So ask yourself these questions –

If I dig into my ‘stories’ what will I find?

What do I need to excavate (move out) in my business? That could be old clients, old pricing, old programming, old website copy, or an old mindset that is holding you back.

Where can I renovate my business and how would I like it to look when it’s finished?

These three questions will keep you moving forward and your business staying fresh and visible. Try it out and let me know how it goes!

Who you are NOT being is just as important as who you ARE being in business

Posted in Business Strategy, Charging for your services on 10/25/2011 04:45 am by Therese Skelly

Not sure what’s in the air these days, but I’ve been getting BUSTED by some men in my life! (Not dating wise, but on the business front, LOL!)

It comes from my renewed commitment to really uplevel my game. So between attending the David Neagle event and joining the local Glazer-Kennedy mastermind group, I recently encountered 3 men who showed me some places where I was holding on to some old, limiting beliefs and where my mindset wasn’t serving me.

It has caused shifts in my mindset and awareness, and it comes from a bit of butt kicking by some folks who saw something that was in my blind spot. Of course I have to laugh, because isn’t that what I teach? Yeah. That’s how it goes. You move forward, and then there’s more to see and be.

I’ll tell you my story about discovering something that I was working so hard to NOT BE and the cost of that and how it came out in my Mastermind meeting. Then we are going to look at your life and business to see who you are being, or not being. Why? Because if you aren’t putting yourself out in the world in the biggest way possible, you are losing business, money, and all that goes along with it. You can’t expect to hide out and be on top of your game if you have a business that sells YOU as part of it.

Here I was, all prepared to tell my mastermind peeps what I’d done with some new leads, and what I had planned for the next quarter of 2011. But even before I got 10 minutes into my hot seat moment, they noticed something and called me on it. Ok, gotta say that I was a bit embarrassed because this was such a HUGE blind spot for me, but I don’t pay to be in this group of super-marketers to have ‘em take care of my feelings and play nice! I pay to get the truth and their expertise, so when all of them pointed something out….I listened.

Let me tell you a bit of back story first –

In my time being in this business, I have encountered some amazing coaches and mentors. And there have been some that do business in a way that makes me sick. Who they are on the outside is nothing like who they are in reality. And what happens? Clients get hurt. People are lied to. Money is lost. Now normally I’m very positive and see good and light in all, but in the case where people are being exploited, it makes me nuts! So I think I have turned into the caped crusader of the anti-sleazy marketer. Don’t quite have the cape and all, but it really feels like I’m on a mission to be real, tell the truth, and legitimately do what I can do to support people versus just make empty promises.

But what I didn’t know is just how much energy I have around this. Sure…my ‘good guy’ colleagues and I often talk about how we want to create a new wave of trust and credibility in the internet marketing world. But little did I know that how I saw it and how my Mastermind peers saw me with it was a big difference!

As I was sharing with the Mastermind Group, they stopped me in my tracks and said this:

“Therese, do you know how much time and energy and conversation you put into NOT being a sleazy marketer? Do you see that you are missing opportunities because you are NOT wanting to be ‘like them’ and so you don’t stand up?”

Dang. I had to admit they were right.

Basically they pointed out that by NOT being “like them,” I’m also not owning marketing my own stuff because I’m so careful to NOT be like that and offend anyone.

Wowza. I had no idea that the thing I was running from was very likely influencing the success I can achieve.

You see, you can’t fight against something while trying to bring something else in. I could take the lesson from Mother Teresa who said, “I will never fight against war, but will certainly stand for peace.”

This is what surprised me….I’m a marketer. And a sales person. And I love those two things and embrace them. But trying so hard to convince myself (and ultimately you) that I’m NOT like person x is really not the best use of my energy.

So it got me thinking that while I always encourage you to be more of you and get that brilliance out in your business, there may be some under currents of not wanting to be something that is playing out.

Maybe you have the same story I do of not wanting to be seen in a negative light. Or maybe it’s just not owning something you should be owning for yourself.

Let’s dive a bit deeper and look at this one.

Mindset 101 – your beliefs are running your business (and life) and if you don’t make them conscious, it’s very often like you are sitting in the passenger seat and not driving in the direction you want to go.

Let’s just see how much ‘charge’ you have from some of these statements. Related to your business, you’ll want to fill in the blank:

“I would hate if people thought ___________________________ of me and the services I offer.”

“What I don’t want people to see about me is __________________________.”

“Secretly what I’m afraid about in my business is ______________________.”

“If my potential clients knew ___________________ about me, they might not sign up.”

Ok, kinda hard questions. But in order to make it through this entrepreneurial journey, you must be willing to do the deep dive into what’s really going on inside. Or you will be a victim to the unconscious drivers and motivation.

When you answered those, did you come up with much intensity? Meaning, if it’s a reasonable thing like “I’d hate if people think I am a fraud” and you felt relatively neutral with it, you are probably fine. We all have some degree of nature that wants to look good and have others approve of us. But if you had that same “Oh no…what if they thought I’m a fraud” and you noticed that it is a HUGE emotional reaction, very likely you are over-reacting and so holding back. Ask yourself these questions:

“How am I holding back?

“What am I NOT doing because of the fear?”

“What’s the cost of these thoughts in terms of me being able to market and sell myself?”

I want you to get real with yourself. Make this stuff conscious so you don’t have to have your mastermind partners show it to you! But actually, that’s the work I do with my clients day in and day out. Showing them the places where their mindset is not supporting them.

And I use tools like the WaveMaker, EFT, NLP, and the work of Byron Katie to help people shift this. But the first piece is awareness. You can’t change what you don’t know. So I’m going to challenge you to be on the look-out for anything you are running away from, giving energy to NOT being, and holding back out of fear.

This week watch you words. Notice your energy. See if you are a caped crusader for something and really look at what’s underneath that to see if it’s affecting your business or marketing in a negative manner. And know I’m here for you and want to help you get clear on what you own, and what you dump! Week two of the Blind Spot To Brilliance program is where we really dive into this Inner Game work. There are a few spots left, so check it out if you can see that you may need some mindset ‘massaging’ shall we say.

Peace and Blessings!

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