Posts Tagged ‘Happy In Business’

The 1 Reason You Want To Tear Your Business Apart

Wouldn’t it be nice if you just set your course when you started your business, and knew exactly where you’d wind up? And imagine if you could just plug in the goals and directions and waaa la! You end up precisely where you thought you’d be.

Well, that may happen to a very lucky few, but for most clients I work with, there are certainly some major detours along the way. Usually it works like this …. Inspiration hits so you set the course and plan around that. But then something comes up. Maybe it’s an opportunity that takes you in a new direction. Or usually it’s the opposite. The thing you set your sites on didn’t pan out so you shifted gears. So instead of success being a straight line, it zig-zags with seemingly unrelated pieces. Trust me…at one time or another in your business, you will encounter some roadblocks.

That’s where I come in. In the last newsletter I spoke about the “Dig-Excavate-Renovate” process which you may want to read about. You see, as a coach/consultant, my job is like a big eraser. With clients I help them erase old beliefs. Fix crappy websites. Repair marketing that hasn’t worked. Mend broken mindsets, and finally birth the brilliance that’s living just under the surface of the blocks and barriers.

So let me tell you a story. And this story is about finding the gold living in the rubble of a business once we have started the excavation. Keep reading and you’ll find out not only what the process is, but why it’s so crucial that you go through it.

Let me introduce you to “Maria.” (Not her real name, although she did give me permission to use the essence of her story.)

She is quite talented, but didn’t have the belief in herself that she needed. This bright woman had tons and tons of potential, but she was letting her ‘stuff’ get in the way. During coaching, one call would be positive and she’d move forward, but then the next one she’d be lost and swimming around in a pool of doubt.

In fact, there was one session when she was ready to give up on even having a business. But I took a stand for her and would not let her quit. I reminded her that we had to do some digging and ‘clean up’ work, and that even though she was taking a few steps forward and two back sometimes….she was still making progress. Thankfully, even though she didn’t believe in herself, she believed in my belief in her. That was the thing that kept her going.

And how it often happens, the business she came to me to grow morphed into something she never would have imagined.

With Maria we dug, and excavated, and now are in the renovation process.

But it was in the excavation process that the most amazing discovery occurred.

After doing loads and loads of NLP, EFT, and other work to move away the big boulders of disbelief, doubt, and disempowering messages from her history, what emerged was a game changer.

See, Maria has always been very serious and driven. She was raised that there was no room for fun or play. Just work and being productive.

But in the rubble of what we uncovered was the part of her that as a child loved to play the flute, dance, and be playful and carefree. When we found this aspect in her, the shift came when I suggested that instead of making her work something she HAS to get done, she was to invite the younger, playful part to express and have fun with what she was attempting to move forward.

She took to this and loved the experience. The website that had been stalled got done. Her opt-in got put up. And the biggest delight? She finally OWNED her new business. She went from being tentative to really seeing that this next version of her business is something she’s been doing for years, and quite well. So now she and I are working to monetize it and help her share her gifts with the world.

Now how does this relate to you? This is a story about the process that business owners go through. My hope is to show you that if you sometimes wonder why you aren’t going faster, you just need to do the digging-excavating and renovating.

These are the stages of Maria’s story and the journey you can take for yourself as well.

  1. Get to the Starting Line. Let me just be honest here and say that sometimes, we aren’t even at the starting line. Meaning, there is clean up or other work that has to happen just to get us in the game. So make an honest assessment of yourself. And not to turn you into a victim or bring blame here, but really realistic. When I just started my business I was going through a divorce and had two small kids. That meant my energies were VERY scattered and often business was not my top priority. That’s an example of not even being at the starting line. I had to clear up what I was going through to be able to fully focus. Step #1 then is to look at the ‘stuff’ that is on your plate or in your life that is interfering.
  2. Do the work to dig out from what’s holding you back. Very often this is one of those things where you can’t see what you can’t see. So if you have experienced a stop/start pattern and are not seeing the results you want, there’s something in the way. Usually it’s all mindset related, so you need to start clearing away the blocks you may have. If you want to really learn how this is all related, sign up for my free training call on 12/6 where I share how the Inner Game and Outer Game are connected and what you need to do to integrate them.
  3. Find the gold in the rubble. As we uncovered with Maria’s story, there is much ‘juiciness’ in your journey. As I have been sharing in my Blind Spot to Brilliance interviews, very often the things that we take for granted, devalue, or can’t appreciate show the seeds of our greatness. Once coaching exercise is to go back into your childhood when you were small and free of the roles and rules and responsibilities you later took on. What did you love to do? What were the themes of your play? What did you act out or dream about? That ‘child-part’ has wisdom from your soul and if you listen to it, can find you much more joy in how you do your business. (Mine strangely enough was playing ‘fairies’ with my friends where I’d wave my magic wand and make their dreams come true! Not too far off for where I am today, right?
  4. Express differently. Maria had a whole list of ‘should do’s’ that were de-energizing. When I suggested that instead of making something happen to make money or get a task checked off her list, and that she just write for the sheer joy of it…it all clicked. So with this step you tap into the part of you that just wants to share what you have. For a moment take away your marketing brain, get out of your politically correct way of speaking, and dump your business owner self. Find the part that wants to share and let that part speak. It may or may not end up being marketing copy, but that will get you moving, add a fresh perspective, and bring loads more joy and fun to what you are doing.
  5. Get support. Probably the most critical piece. I liken this process to “Midwifing Your Magnificence.” This entrepreneurial journey can be one of the most rewarding AND challenging things you’ll ever do. You need someone who will love you, take a stand for you, not let you quit when you get discouraged, and hold a bigger vision for you than you can for yourself. This process is quite deep and very relational, and from time to time requires some loving butt kicking even, but the process is best done with a trusted guide. If I can be that for you, I’d be honored.

So, as we head into fall and you see the leaves changing, the weather shifting, and things start looking different, I want you to imagine what you and your business could be like if you found the brilliance inside you and expressed it in a bigger and bolder way. I can’t wait to see you shine!

Peace and blessings!

Who you are NOT being is just as important as who you ARE being in business

Not sure what’s in the air these days, but I’ve been getting BUSTED by some men in my life! (Not dating wise, but on the business front, LOL!)

It comes from my renewed commitment to really uplevel my game. So between attending the David Neagle event and joining the local Glazer-Kennedy mastermind group, I recently encountered 3 men who showed me some places where I was holding on to some old, limiting beliefs and where my mindset wasn’t serving me.

It has caused shifts in my mindset and awareness, and it comes from a bit of butt kicking by some folks who saw something that was in my blind spot. Of course I have to laugh, because isn’t that what I teach? Yeah. That’s how it goes. You move forward, and then there’s more to see and be.

I’ll tell you my story about discovering something that I was working so hard to NOT BE and the cost of that and how it came out in my Mastermind meeting. Then we are going to look at your life and business to see who you are being, or not being. Why? Because if you aren’t putting yourself out in the world in the biggest way possible, you are losing business, money, and all that goes along with it. You can’t expect to hide out and be on top of your game if you have a business that sells YOU as part of it.

Here I was, all prepared to tell my mastermind peeps what I’d done with some new leads, and what I had planned for the next quarter of 2011. But even before I got 10 minutes into my hot seat moment, they noticed something and called me on it. Ok, gotta say that I was a bit embarrassed because this was such a HUGE blind spot for me, but I don’t pay to be in this group of super-marketers to have ‘em take care of my feelings and play nice! I pay to get the truth and their expertise, so when all of them pointed something out….I listened.

Let me tell you a bit of back story first –

In my time being in this business, I have encountered some amazing coaches and mentors. And there have been some that do business in a way that makes me sick. Who they are on the outside is nothing like who they are in reality. And what happens? Clients get hurt. People are lied to. Money is lost. Now normally I’m very positive and see good and light in all, but in the case where people are being exploited, it makes me nuts! So I think I have turned into the caped crusader of the anti-sleazy marketer. Don’t quite have the cape and all, but it really feels like I’m on a mission to be real, tell the truth, and legitimately do what I can do to support people versus just make empty promises.

But what I didn’t know is just how much energy I have around this. Sure…my ‘good guy’ colleagues and I often talk about how we want to create a new wave of trust and credibility in the internet marketing world. But little did I know that how I saw it and how my Mastermind peers saw me with it was a big difference!

As I was sharing with the Mastermind Group, they stopped me in my tracks and said this:

“Therese, do you know how much time and energy and conversation you put into NOT being a sleazy marketer? Do you see that you are missing opportunities because you are NOT wanting to be ‘like them’ and so you don’t stand up?”

Dang. I had to admit they were right.

Basically they pointed out that by NOT being “like them,” I’m also not owning marketing my own stuff because I’m so careful to NOT be like that and offend anyone.

Wowza. I had no idea that the thing I was running from was very likely influencing the success I can achieve.

You see, you can’t fight against something while trying to bring something else in. I could take the lesson from Mother Teresa who said, “I will never fight against war, but will certainly stand for peace.”

This is what surprised me….I’m a marketer. And a sales person. And I love those two things and embrace them. But trying so hard to convince myself (and ultimately you) that I’m NOT like person x is really not the best use of my energy.

So it got me thinking that while I always encourage you to be more of you and get that brilliance out in your business, there may be some under currents of not wanting to be something that is playing out.

Maybe you have the same story I do of not wanting to be seen in a negative light. Or maybe it’s just not owning something you should be owning for yourself.

Let’s dive a bit deeper and look at this one.

Mindset 101 – your beliefs are running your business (and life) and if you don’t make them conscious, it’s very often like you are sitting in the passenger seat and not driving in the direction you want to go.

Let’s just see how much ‘charge’ you have from some of these statements. Related to your business, you’ll want to fill in the blank:

“I would hate if people thought ___________________________ of me and the services I offer.”

“What I don’t want people to see about me is __________________________.”

“Secretly what I’m afraid about in my business is ______________________.”

“If my potential clients knew ___________________ about me, they might not sign up.”

Ok, kinda hard questions. But in order to make it through this entrepreneurial journey, you must be willing to do the deep dive into what’s really going on inside. Or you will be a victim to the unconscious drivers and motivation.

When you answered those, did you come up with much intensity? Meaning, if it’s a reasonable thing like “I’d hate if people think I am a fraud” and you felt relatively neutral with it, you are probably fine. We all have some degree of nature that wants to look good and have others approve of us. But if you had that same “Oh no…what if they thought I’m a fraud” and you noticed that it is a HUGE emotional reaction, very likely you are over-reacting and so holding back. Ask yourself these questions:

“How am I holding back?

“What am I NOT doing because of the fear?”

“What’s the cost of these thoughts in terms of me being able to market and sell myself?”

I want you to get real with yourself. Make this stuff conscious so you don’t have to have your mastermind partners show it to you! But actually, that’s the work I do with my clients day in and day out. Showing them the places where their mindset is not supporting them.

And I use tools like the WaveMaker, EFT, NLP, and the work of Byron Katie to help people shift this. But the first piece is awareness. You can’t change what you don’t know. So I’m going to challenge you to be on the look-out for anything you are running away from, giving energy to NOT being, and holding back out of fear.

This week watch you words. Notice your energy. See if you are a caped crusader for something and really look at what’s underneath that to see if it’s affecting your business or marketing in a negative manner. And know I’m here for you and want to help you get clear on what you own, and what you dump! Week two of the Blind Spot To Brilliance program is where we really dive into this Inner Game work. There are a few spots left, so check it out if you can see that you may need some mindset ‘massaging’ shall we say.

Peace and Blessings!