It should be so simple……

We know what to do.

It’s not rocket science.

There is a ton of free information about how to do it.

But very often we don’t, or can’t…at least not effectively.

I’m talking about Marketing here. But not the tactical parts….the “I can own my stuff” or mindset part. I call that the Inner Marketing piece.

Because our mindset interferes with our marketing. It’s as simple as that.

Let me share a story with you. This is a true story of a friend of mine who for the sake of anonymity is a service provider. She’s got a heart of gold, is super talented, very spiritual, and makes almost 6 figures. She has big goals for herself and her business. But she also works seven days a week, very often Christmas and every holiday, and has a business model that if she doesn’t work, won’t get paid.

While she loves her business she’s working at trading dollars-for-hours, scrambles to get clients, and is at risk of major burn out.

Because I love my friend and want to help her get past this stuck place, I said to her: “Hey…let me help you. Why not first raise your rates?”

“I couldn’t do that, what if my existing clients got mad? And in this economy no new ones will pay a higher fee.”

OK I say, “Well then how about you create a boot camp because there’s a huge need and you could serve a large number of people quickly.”

“No, that won’t work because other people in my industry are already doing that.”

I know (still working the idea machine for my seemingly stubborn friend) “how about if you created DVD’s because you are so good at what you do and this way your time will be leveraged.”

“What, me get in front of the camera? I’m not comfortable with that.”

So my suggestions of owning your value and leveraging your time and talent got shot down because this very driven professional had mindset blocks that basically kick her butt and keep her hostage to staying in the box she’s in. And it breaks my heart because I see it every day.

We all have these to some degree. I know I have wrestled with these demons in my business and if you are like most people and haven’t yet gotten the success or money that you desire, it would behoove you to shift your focus AWAY from “I just need to do more marketing” and move it to “I absolutely am willing to commit to doing the work on ME to discover and release any blocks that would prevent me from moving forward.”

Here’s the thing….marketing and the concept of this is SEXY! Every day entrepreneurs are waking up planning on how to market better. But how many of those people then take it to the next level of questioning where they ask themselves, “Who do I have to become to make this marketing work?” The numbers drop significantly at this point! Doing the mindset work isn’t necessarily like getting a root canal, but it can be hard at times. Liberating yes, but it takes courage.

So if you have ever felt discouraged because you have bought the blueprints, paid for the mentoring, purchased more than your share of info-products and still can’t seem to make it work, my goal is to show you that there is a way to make all the pieces fit together. But you have to be willing to do the work on the INSIDE to have your business become one you’d love….and be profitable.

Yes, maybe it’s not just that you are marketing incorrectly….maybe it’s your mindset that is causing the breakdowns. I shouldn’t use the word ‘maybe’ because it’s more likely than not that if you are not having the results you desire, that’s a huge part of the problem.

So how do you know you have some mindset blocks? Answer the questions below to see if even some things you never would have connected as being related to your business may be part of why you are not seeing the level of success you desire.

Undercharging

Do you feel guilty for charging the fees you do?
Would you like to raise your rates but can’t?
Are your clients shocked at how low your rates are?
Do you sometimes resent your clients because you know you should be getting more $ for the work you are doing?
Are your expenses climbing but your income declining?

Chronic over-giving

Do you feel you have to give more than you receive?
Are you always the one jumping in to help?
Is letting others help you a bit of a challenge?
Do you feel guilty if you get something first, before you give?

Undervaluing your skills or worth

Do you have a hard time thinking of yourself as an expert?
Do you feel like asking others for support is “bothering” them?
Are there people in your life who see your brilliance more than you do?
Do you take for granted the work you do because it comes so easy?
Do you ever doubt if you aren’t quite ‘good enough’ in some ways?

Sabotaging patterns

Do you find yourself procrastinating at times?
Are opportunities falling through the cracks?
Is there clutter and chaos in your life that slows you down?
Do you experience high and lows?
When a really good thing happens, do you then experience a breakdown sometimes?

So you see yourself in some of these items?

The place to start is to be committed to doing whatever it takes to become the person your business needs you to be. Imagine that your little business is just sitting there waiting for you to step into your greatness so it can grow and flourish. It’s like its job is to call forth in you more of your powerful self. (Crazy? I think not!)

The places where we break down are really the opportunities we have to grow and transcend the limitations that hold us back. But our tendency is to run from these cuz they are not pretty and sure don’t feel good at times!

Step 1 is to decide to face whatever you need to.
Step 2 is to make an honest assessment of what’s the block.
Step 3 is to be fearless about seeing where it comes up and why.
Step 4 is to see the gift in this.
Step 5 is to begin to lean in to dissolve the hold it has on you.
Step 6 is to make new choices and take different actions.
Step 7 is to repeat over and over and over!

But the biggest step of all? Probably would be to get a trusted guide who can walk you through the process because frankly most of us don’t want to and subsequently can’t see these things in ourselves. That’s why my clients are willing to fly in to Phoenix for a VIP day with me because they are sick of the holes in their lives and business that the mindset blocks cause.

My hope is that you’ll be all about changing from the inside out. If you are ready to partner with me for more support, let’s set up a time to chat about it because I hold a high vision for you and your business and want to see you get there.

Talking to a dear friend the other day, I guiltily admitted that many of my clients had things that held them back.  “Stuff” as I call it.  Like anxiety or secret fears, limiting beliefs, money issues or other challenges that prevented them from really making their business even more fun and profitable.

“Is it me?  Because of my background being a psychotherapist, am I just attracting these people to me because I can help them more than most coaches out there?”

To which my friend replied:

“We all have stuff!  Some of us just work harder to hide it than others, but we all have it.”

Then I realized that my mantra has always been, “You can’t take your life out of your business” because they are connected.  When I work with clients on their business and some other part of their life pops up, to ignore it and act like its separate leads to energy drain and overwhelm. 

I’ve been doing it for years.  Kinda like the go-to person for even the big hitting marketers when their lives weren’t working but they had no place to turn to move through whatever was in their way.  And I’ve been doing it with my clients.  Underground mainly, because who wants to admit that they talk about their FEELINGS with their business coach. 

But in order to really be in service I have to come clean and pull this out of the closet. So here it is….

If occasionally you feel less than, struggle with doubt, get stopped making the money you desire, procrastinate, get overwhelmed, have messy relationships from time to time, get scared when asked to grow bigger….  YOU ARE NORMAL! 

Really. 

This sometimes ‘messy’ mindset stuff is very likely more the norm than your fantasized, “They never think like I think” projections.  Because there is a tendency to compare ‘our insides with their outsides.’  We feel a bit crappy and they look all polished and like they have their sh@t together, so we automatically make the comparison that something is wrong with us.  When in fact, EVERYONE has things they deal with that hold them back from time to time and limit the magic of who they are being…. big and bold and out in the world.

But what’s missing often is a safe place to share this, because often in business we have to put on our best face, move forward, and act like all is well…even when it totally sucks.

This article is designed for you if you know that fundamentally you are a good and well-adjusted person, but at times in your business, your forward motion gets slowed down because the ‘stuff’ gets in the way.

Here’s why….

1. You said the prayer.  You know. THAT prayer.  The one that says, “Use me.  Let me do the work I am to do in the world.  Remove anything that is in the way of that.”
2. You are resisting the next thing trying to be birthed in you.
3. You are being taken to the next highest level, but in order to do that, you have to SURRENDER some other things that weren’t working.

Let’s start with the prayer.  I think in all of us there is a drive to be more, share more, and be of service at a higher level.  And in order to do that, there are some old beliefs that need to be shed.  Example…if you are to be a really well paid speaker, delivering an inspirational message that will help thousands of people, but struggle when asking for the sale because you were taught that it’s not ok to ask for what you really want…you will slow down the progress.  AND if you are really in service to this dream, you will bump into this lesson time and time again until you finally get sick and tired of getting sick and tired!  Meaning, you will finally reach out and seek the support to move through the blocks that are in the way of you and the fulfillment of your dream.  But along the way, you may feel a bit crazy!

Next we’ll talk about resisting the thing ready to pop.  Any woman who has ever had a baby knows that there is no turning back once that baby is growing and on its way.    What’s interesting here is that often times the next big thing we are to do feels often like labor.  (Painful, out of control, scary, wishing it would end.)  So the trick here is to acknowledge that there is something in you that wants to emerge.  Maybe it’s your “I can be a powerful leader” self, or your “I give myself permission to make lots of money” self, or even “I am a person who can make a huge difference in the world” self.  Those babies want to come out!  But to come out…other things need to go.  And this is where it helps to have a guide.  Because if you don’t understand what’s happening, it can feel mighty scary and kind of lonely. 

As I stepped into being an entrepreneur back in 2005, I lost both my best friends and eventually my husband. It was shocking to me because I’m a person who keeps friends and connections for years.  So when the three closest people were pulled out of my life, I had to look at that.  And then notice who else was coming into my life.  People much more in alignment with the values I held dear and with the vision and goals that inspired me.  And it was all preparing me for the next version of myself.  (And delightfully…we are now back being friends again today)

And now let’s talk about that higher level that you are being called to.  Unfortunately there’s not some easy path here.  Actually the thing that would make it easier is paradoxically the hardest thing to do.  And that is surrender.  Just surrender to what’s happening and it goes much more quickly and smoothly.  But most of us can’t.  We freak out when we feel fearful or have doubts.  Freak out when we get the big vision for what’s next, and most certainly do not go around sharing this with other!  So then we take on shame.  Shame that something’s wrong, shame that we don’t have it all together as others, and shame that we have shame even!

But if you are to be the next great version of you, there is almost a ‘dying to what was’ process.  Earlier today I got off a coaching call where the person was beautifully courageous about letting go of what had always worked in the past and surrender to being a new way.  Trying new things.  Operating from faith and allowing versus pushing and doing.  This person is smart enough to have a trusted guide on the path, because if you don’t know what’s happening and that its all NORMAL and PERFECT…it makes you feel like you are nuts! 

So there you have it.  The beginnings of my ‘manifesto’ on stuff!  My hope today is to just normalize it for you.  If you are in some struggle, if you reframe it to knowing that it’s ok and actually means that you are growing, you’ll move more easily through.  And I’ll keep sharing tips and techniques in future newsletters.  In the meantime, I’d love your feedback on the blog here about how you move through in your business when some ‘stuff’ is up for you from time to time.